Adventures #48: Compare & Contrast
In 2003, Emory University scientists Sarah Brosnan and Frans de Waal tried a new experiment.
They trained a group of capuchin monkeys to use stones as a form of currency, exchanging one for a nice fresh slice of cucumber. The monkeys were happy with this arrangement, until the researchers started giving some of them a sweet, juicy grape instead. Delicious.
The monkeys who perceived themselves as being on the end of a bad deal became visibly upset, refusing to pay for the cucumber or sometimes throwing the slice back in the experimenter’s face. Those monkeys went… well, apeshit.
What was going on?
Monkeys - and humans - don’t evaluate things as single events. Instead, it’s all about comparison.
This, of course, goes way beyond grapes and cucumbers.
It applies to Apples and Blackberries; salaries, cars, and schools; followers, fans, and feelings.
Comparisons can be useful. They help us to measure and track. Comparing through competition and rivalries can bring out the best in us.
But comparisons can also trigger refusal to cooperate. And they can make us feel miserable.
Comparisons can be a trap.
Co-Existing
Last Saturday I woke up feeling low.
I’d slipped into a comparison trap, with a cocktail of biases as a kicker. You may be familiar with this particularly vicious viscous cocktail: it does a great job of filtering out any information running contradictory to a belief or thought.
My monkey mind told me that they all had a bunch of fresh grapes, while I couldn’t even source a single slice of cucumber.
After sobering up from this zero-sum, binary game, I remembered it is indeed possible for feelings to co-exist. What matters most is learning when to use each one.
Compete / Cooperate.
Compare / Contrast.
As always, there’s tension here. But tension can be positive.
Comparing can offer a way to push ourselves harder; to inspire us at what’s possible.
Contrasting reminds us that while our DNA is incredibly similar to those of others, there are still an untold number of facets and life experiences that make us different. Contrast brings to light the unique angles that only we can bring to the world.
It’s really easy to get these tangled up. And the tangling up can make us go apeshit: whether openly in public; or just in the confines of our own mind, our own narrative.
Speaking of narrative, while we’re similar to monkeys in our predilection to compare, the thing that sets humans apart - as Yuval Noah Harari notes in ‘Sapiens’ - is our ability to communicate and process through stories.
Bronze
A story of compare and contrast comes at the Olympic Games.
Silver medalists tend to be miserable because they’re comparing themselves to the gold medalists. Bronze medalists are looking at the contrast between being on the podium and those who came in fourth and beyond. Even though the silver medalists beat the bronze medalists, the bronze medalists tend to be happier.
And even gold medalists still fall into that comparison trap. Like all of us, they still have that little voice in their heads. And there are always games beyond the game.
(Reader of ‘Sapiens’ will notice there are some other stories in this little story: medals are a story; the Olympics are a story; the entire game is really just a story)
Whether we’re training to be an Olympian or to polish off an Olympic breakfast, unfavorable comparison and the desire to compete can be helpful to push ourselves harder. Meanwhile, more favorable comparisons tend to make us feel happier and grounded.
Better still, we can use the tools of comparison and contrast as ways to move things forward for others as well as ourselves.
We can set up a friendly rivalry to make the work better; focus on the contrasts to ensure there are more viewpoints around the table; or find some common ground by recognising those core human needs and desires we all share.
And as we edge towards the end of the year, it’s not a bad time to use these tools of comparing and contrasting to help move us forwards into what’s next.
There are just two things to note:
Avoid those stories that lead us into comparison traps, and
Remember - especially in 2020 - the cucumber will probably do for now
Thanks for reading, and as always I’d love to hear what’s got your attention right now. Just hit reply.
Howard
Career Fuel
The River of Change: a very well-crafted and succinct summary of changes and opportunities as we enter 2021.
Why are we underestimating Zoom?: It’s hard to imagine what 2020 would have been like if it happened in 2000 or 2010 (i.e. Zoomless).
Opportunity for Adventure: Using Zoom in new ways - a few suggestions are in this remix on 18 elements of the Zoom revolution
Also: My pal Conor has started a smart podcast concept focusing on the stories behind business builders getting their first 10 customers. Here’s me on episode 7 talking about building a talent agency.
Learning <> Doing
Embedded Education: It used to be that every company is a digital company. Now, every company may just be an education company. Although the tech industry myopia here is a bit frustrating, there’s plenty of food for thought.
Opportunity for Adventure: Customer support hubs feel more like edutainment; brands become educators and career guides;
more educators in residence
Rewriting the playbook: A riff on creating new learning experiences around sports documentaries. Which leads us to…
Media & Entertainment
Spotify playlists for sale: Software is indeed eating the world, and constraints help creativity. My first of many questions are how you value a playlist, and who’s buying…?
Disclaimer: I have no idea how legit this site is, even though/because they state “There is virtually no way you can get cheated during a transaction”
Record Deal Simulator: One of those “how has no one done this before?!” ideas
Opportunity for Adventure: open source tools and maps for opaque or abstract areas of industries; particularly those relating to where the money flows
The rise of the unlikely Twitch streamer: Game platforms aren’t just game platforms. Everything’s becoming a game. The metaverse is coming.
Culture
Discoteca: a lovely bit of work by photographer Francois Prost, touring deserted Spanish nightlife spots during the slow, hot Summer of 2020.
How venture capitalists are deforming capitalism: More rumblings against the VC dogma that’s echoed out of Silicon Valley for the past 5 years or so.
On the sesh with Premier League football managers: While having an interest in football helps with grasping this, the copywriting is wonderful regardless. As is the prospect of spending 10 hours with Ralph at Berghain.
Jukebox
A triple whammy this month. It’s the last edition of the year, after all. This treble is made up of something old, something new, and something kinda in between.
LTJ Bukem & MC Conrad, Progression Sessions 2001: On the surface, this doesn’t stand out too much, but the blend of lyrics and track selection is subtly superior. Hard to put your finger on, but once you hear you can’t unhear.
The War on Drugs, Coachella 2015. My last international foray before I departed the music business. Somehow the company backed a trip to California. No stakes, no pressure. Friday evening sunset, The War on Drugs on stage. On my own, front row centre. Sun setting over the desert. Shimmering heat on the horizon. Here’s a new live album to bring it back just a little.
The Adventures… playlist: Yes, one from me - I’ll be updating this every couple of weeks. Go ahead and follow - I promise I won’t try and sell it.
Footnotes
Other things I’ve been up to this month.
Launching a new podcast: The first four episodes are landing next week. You can read more here >
Scripted Entertainment: A renewed hobby of mine is script watchalongs of my favorite movies (don’t judge me). Top of the list is Michael Clayton; the scene descriptions alone beat the entirety of most scripts. I also love what its creator Tony Gilroy says about his process of working on a project: he’ll walk around New York City until he believes he has ‘the secret’ - the unique angle to the story that only he possesses. I’ve done a lot of walking around NYC.
Cycling around Prospect Park: As the election result was announced. I’ll never forget that day’s effervescent energy.